I’ve probably written countless times on this blog about how ‘busy’ life is and how there’s so much going on. But this last month or so I’ve really been challenged with time management, filling my own calendar (rather than life filling my calendar) and figuring out what are my priorities - and does my life reflect them?
I decided to write a list of just some of the things that take up my time (the list would seriously bore you so I decided not to put it on here) but I wrote about 15 things down that I’m so 'busy with’ and realised I hadn’t even started writing things like ‘catching up with friends and family, date nights…. let alone any ‘me time’ which is usually bottom of the list. My whole list was task orientated, and had zero focus on relationships or enjoyment.
It’s quite scary, and I would encourage you to write your own list if you’ve never really thought about it before. But I realised my life/our life (being married and all) has been so ‘full’ lately of tasks and things that ‘need’ to be done, which has meant things like quality time and setting time aside to be personally refreshed has been close to non existent. And quite obviously - this is not good!!
SO - what to do about it? Just stop doing all the ‘stuff’ go to the beach, and enjoy your life.
Haha I wish it was that simple! Although our trip to the beach one afternoon after work was definitely what the doctor ordered! I do wish I had the formula for this but I’m actually figuring it all out for myself at the moment so I may just have to keep you posted. But a big part of it as boring as it sounds, is to get organised! And this is actually a challenge for me because if you ask my husband (or just look in my handbag - actually definitely don’t do that) you would find out I’m not the most organised person in the world. However - everyone can change PTL! And this is where the whole ‘you fill your calendar/schedule’ comes into play, rather than life filling your calendar.
At the moment for Ezra and I, if we have anything we need to be at or do, we enter it in our online calendar and invite the other person so there are no excuses for missing things or saying ‘you never told me that' - and we are doing great at this! But we have become very slack at adding things like ‘date night’ or ‘me time’ or even ‘head space’. And so even as I’m writing this I’ve decided every Sunday night (or Monday depending on how crazy Sunday was) we will set time aside to plan out our week. I love this quote that I read recently:
“Our schedule is far less about what we want to get done, and more about who we want to become.”
Now we will ALWAYS have stuff that needs to be done - but everything we do (and don't do) actually reflects who we are and what type of a person we are becoming. So you need to be organised in scheduling both the tasks, as well as the relational and self care side of things. If you don't book in the relational things, the 'stuff' can and very easily will take over.
Ezra and I want to be seen as people who have high capacity and don’t just float by in life, but that we also first and foremost prioritise people and relationships over tasks.
So it’s not about filling your calendar full of stuff that needs to be done, but filling your calendar with things that will reflect the person you want to become.
Does your calendar currently reflect where you want to be in 20 years? More importantly does it reflect who you want to be in 20 years?