So let's be honest, I have a terrible memory. Have you ever been introduced to someone, asked them what their name was and not even listed to the answer? Or even if you did hear it, you completely forget about 2 minutes later? Well that's pretty much the story of my life! I'm working on it, but I'm seriously so bad at remembering peoples names... along with many other things in life. The fact that Ezra knows this all to well, does not work well for me for arguments sake.
For example, the other day I got frustrated at Ez because I thought we had the whole day together, but in actual fact it was jam packed with a million things to do. So when I asked him on our morning walk what the plan was for the day, he replied quite frustrated "I already told you!" To which I replied "No you didn't...or at least I don't remember the conversation..." To which he comes back with, "Well who is more reliable when it comes to remembering things?" And unfortunately I have no rebuttal for that debate so I usually just sigh loudly.
We have tried several strategies on trying to figure out how we can clarify that I have actually heard something, but I can honestly forget whole conversations (unless of course Ezra is making all of this up to save himself) but there is one definite excuse he can't use, which is "I told you last night in bed". This is never a come back Ez can use as we both know full well, I will not remember anything you tell me when I'm going to bed. I pride myself on being a great sleeper, and most nights will fall asleep in under 10 minutes (Ezra would probably say 5) but when we were first married Ezra would try to tell me all the plans for the next day in bed, and I would respond...kind of. I would start off having a converstaion, but then start mumbling, and then I just make no sense at all, and I would definitely have no memory of the conversation the next day. So we figured out talking about anything important before bed is a no go.
If it's something really important Ez will usually have to clarify, "Have you got that? You're not going to tell me later that this conversation never happened?" Which I role my eyes at and say "Yes I'll remember". But the best thing we ever did which is 100 times better than relying on memory is putting things in the calendar.
We've been doing it for about a year now and we will literally put anything and everything in there. If it's in the calendar it's locked in and always has priority. Occasionally we will forget to put something in there, and if that's the case it doesn't have priority and you definitely can't use "I told you about it" because if it's not in the calendar, it didn't happen.
It's been the best for so many reasons - for starters we are so much more organised as a couple and don't double book any more. But it also gives us more freedom to do things on our own. For example if I ever book in a girls dinner, I'll book that in the calendar not because Ezra is coming, but so he knows for that night he can now plan a boys night, or play basketball or just do whatever he needs to do, and not just sit around at home because I forgot to tell him about it and now he's stuck.
So I guess today's blog post is kind of random, but a suggestion to get into using a shared calendar! It helps to be so much more organised as a couple, keeps you accountable and also gives you freedom to plan your weeks and prioritise time with each other, family or friends. And the biggest advantage is that you don't need to rely on memory. Woohoo!