Today's blog post was actually inspired by my parents who spoke all about relationships this weekend at Bridge Church, and one of the things they mentioned was how your personal wholeness is your responsibility. I absolutely love that thought and couldn't agree more.
So many people who are single think, 'I'll be happier when I have a boyfriend' or 'when I'm married, I'll enjoy life more, and be complete'. So not the case!! And might I also say so not attractive. I don't know any guy who thinks 'Oh what a turn on, this girl is needy and wants to get married and have a man in her life to be complete - sign me up'...seriously, just no. It sounds ridiculous when I put it like that, but so many people still have that belief that they won't be truly be satisfied in life, until they have a partner.
Can I say right now, to have the best relationship you can possibly imagine, you need to be the best, happiest, complete version of yourself before you get into any relationship. It's all very romantic when people say their partner 'complete's them' but I don't agree. My husband compliments me, he adds to me, but he shouldn't really 'complete me'. I am my own person, and he is his own person. We are 2 individuals, joined together, and being Christian, the only person who truly completes us, is Jesus. He is the one who makes us whole. He is the one who makes us want to strive to be better, and be the best versions of ourselves we could ever possibly be.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that our partners don't strengthen us, and don't make us better people. I have learnt SO much from my husband. I was so shy when we first met, and would never stretch myself or get out of my comfort zone before I met him. He has helped me believe in myself, and always strive for more. One of his life motto's is to always be a better version of yourself today, than you were yesterday. Always try to improve yourself and learn new things, but it's about bettering yourself, not competing or comparing with other people. So as much as our partners should be encouraging and help us to be our best, we can never depend on them to be that. It is 100% our responsibility. Our happiness is our responsibility.
If you're not happy now while you are single, you are most likely just going to bring that unhappiness into a relationship. Sure you will have the excitement and the butterflies while things are new and exciting, but when times get tough, those things within you are going to come out - whether you like it or not. And you know what, none of us are perfect, obviously. But the more you have your own issues sorted, the stronger and healthier your relationship will be. Trust me, you have enough issues as it is figuring out how to do life with the opposite sex, so no need to add all your own issues in there too!
To sum things up, none of us are perfect, we never will be. But whether you are currently single, or in a relationship, don't ever depend on somebody else for your own happiness or wholeness - that's entirely up to you. Oh and while I'm on it, don't ever go into a relationship with the goal of 'I'll change them', also a big no no - that's probably a whole other blog post in itself. So before I get carried away, simply work on the things you can change and improve, and that, is you.