Now obviously, let me start by saying this goes both ways. Don't forget to date your husband or don't forget to date your wife depending on who you are! But this topic is actually one that so many people used as marriage advice before Ezra and I got married. People would always say to us "Make sure you prioritise date nights, make the time and effort to go out and all distractions aside, have some time just the two of you." And I honestly thought, well that's easy, we do that all the time anyway (while we were still dating) why would we ever stop?
But 3 years into marriage, we are actually having to start making a conscious effort to do this! And it's been a bit of a wake up call for me to make an effort as the wife, and not just expect 'the husband' to do it all. The last few months we have not had the best run with health and just the business of life, so 'date nights' were definitely not a priority on our list of things to do - as bed usually sounds good to me at 9:00pm and that's on a good day! I know, Lord help me when we start having children.
For us as well, I think it makes it difficult to make an effort of date night, because it's not like we're not already out..all the time as it is. We constantly go out for dinner instead of cooking because that's just easier and more convenient, that or we are having dinner with other people, or on the rare occasion we will actually cook a meal at home...shock horror, I know. And we are so lucky to be in this position at the moment (once again Lord help us when we start having children). But there's something different about going out intentionally and having a date night. And I 100% understand it's different for everyone, but hey, this is just how it works for us.
Date nights are intentional. They're a time where you have planned ahead where you are going to eat, and what time you will be leaving the house. You can dress to impress, and it's all about quality time with your partner, not just eating together, watching the tv and zoning out. And once again, don't get me wrong, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing that day to day, but I think more of an effort should be put into date nights.
It's a time to be romantic, and talk about things that really matter, or talk about absolutely nothing and just have a good old laugh. A time to relax, enjoy each others company, and dream about the future. I think I love date nights so much because it's kind of like taking it back to when you were first dating. You can put the business of life aside, forget work, the mortgage, the 'kids' (which I'm sure is a big factor once you have them) and it can just be the two of you again for the night.
It's kind of scary that it's something we've already noticed has started to drop, so it's a good reminder for me to make more of an effort, as it's something I want to continue on doing until we are old and grey. And can I personally encourage you to make more of an effort with this, whether you are the husband or the wife, because gender aside, as much as we would love for our husbands to always be romantically inclined every day of the week, let's be honest, life gets busy. And I know for us, it would mean the world to Ezra if I took the time to plan a special date night for the two of us, organised everything and he just got to come along and enjoy the night. He would probably enjoy the night so much more compared to if he had to plan it on top of everything else he has going on. Sometimes for men it can become just another 'task' and if we force them by complaining 'We never do date nights any more' I have a feeling the night won't go anywhere near as good as it could if you just took the initiative and planned the night yourself. And as I'm writing this all I'm thinking is 'dang it', I'm actually going to have to do this now! Haha but putting in that little extra effort, and prioritising our partner before ourselves, generally goes a very long way.