For those of you who are unaware, there is a book out there called 'The 5 Love Languages' as well as an online questionnaire you can fill out, to find out what your love language is whether for singles, couples or children (link at bottom of the page if you're interested in checking it out).
Pretty much it's an analysis of your emotional communication preference - wether you feel most loved through: 1) acts of service 2) words of affirmation 3) receiving gifts 4) quality time or 5) physical touch.
For me, my top 2 are: Acts of Service & Receiving Gifts (in no particular order... ok, ok receiving gifts is first, I just didn't want you to think I was shallow). Ezra's top 2 are: Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch. How convenient that we are the complete opposite - not!
I have to admit and earn some brownie points here, Ezra is actually very good at showing love to me through acts of service. It was part of his wedding vows that he would always provide for me and look after me, and he is constantly finding ways through acts of service to show how much he loves me. Whether it's through doing the dishes some nights even though he also cooked, letting me go to bed early while he stays up to do the washing (it's not my fault I'm a nana by nature) or even things like opening car doors and always walking on the side closest to the road - he's a definite keeper and I'm a very lucky girl to have him.
Me on the other hand, I definitely struggle a lot more with giving words of affirmation, as it is something that does not come naturally to me...like... at all! It actually comes up quite frequently and I'm a bit of a slow learner on this topic, but here is my thinking...
In my mind when it comes to words of affirmation, it's already so obvious that Ezra is so good at so many things!! For example Ezra does a bit of public speaking, and normally will ask me how he went. Now like I said, in my mind it's already so obvious all the things he did really well: he was funny, connected well with the crowd, didn't speak too quickly etc... so these are the things we both already know, right? So I begin by saying 'Well you probably could have done this better, and you probably shouldn't have said this part in the speech, and you went overtime...' Yes, I know, I'm horrible. Ezra usually responds with something like 'Did I do anything right? Or 'Are there any positives you can share?' Which I quickly respond with 'Well obviously bla bla bla...'
Like I said I'm still learning and we have come to an agreement that I must first think of 3 things he did well, and then something he can improve on. It's a work in progress.
I think it's quite rare for a couple to both have exactly the same love languages, and be able to so easily please each other. It's definitely a constant learning curve and some learn quicker than others..obviously.
Try and find ways to surprise your partner, and make an effort to learn what their love language is - learn what it is and never stop learning on how to improve on it.