InterviewsJo Boots

Clive & Bec

InterviewsJo Boots
Clive & Bec
I absolutely loved interviewing this beautiful family. Always so many laughs with these guys, and they are the definition of keeping it real! Special thanks to Bec being 37 weeks pregnant and looking as amazing as ever. Happy Reading!
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How long have you been together for? 
B: 6 years I think it is, in August.
C: 6 years in Augusts, yeah.
How did you end up together? 
B: So I went to Youth Group to become a leader, and Clive was there checking out the music. It was a Friday night and we met briefly and then saw each other the next night at church where a group of us went out for dinner afterwards - Ezra was actually with Clive as his wingman! We went across to Groove Train and Clive made a complete clown of himself..
C: An ass! A complete ass of myself - you can write that down if you want
B: He was extremely obnoxious, arrogant, loud and rude - am I missing any words?
C: *Laughing* - The funny thing I vividly remember the most was at the end of the night when we were leaving Ezra said to me 'If she even rings you or calls you, it will be a miracle!'
B: And stupid me (laughing) ...I called! Apparently I fell for it.
C: Yep.
B: And then he found me on Facebook the next morning and asked to go to the movies on Sunday night. We were meant to go with a few other people but they pulled out.
C: Did they?
B: Yep, they pulled out so we ended up going by ourselves.
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So that was a week after?
B: Na, it was the same weekend - it was a 3 day process.
C: Same weekend! I was pretty smooth (laughs).
B: We met Friday, dinner Saturday, movies Sunday, dating Monday - it was pretty quick.
C: Oh na, remember I said we had to wait 3 months.
B: Yea but we were still seeing each other.
C: But we weren't official until 3 months after.
B: Why? Cos we were both leaders or something?
C: Na, we just..I didn't really know you, I just thought 'Oh yea, she's pretty good looking.'
B: Haha just a piece of meat hey?
So you were both interested from the beginning?
B: Yea...
C: Yea I was, I only chase girls I'm interested in (lots of laughing).
What? Well it's true!
B: I had to warm up because Clive is typically not the guy I would ever have dated. He's very different - class clown, different nationality haha I was always use to the muscly, athletic ...
C: Ooooohh hey!
B: Hahahah.
C: Hahahha WHAT?!
B: I'm joking I'm joking - sorry I thought it was funny.
C: But I'd actually seen Bec a few times and I  went to every service just to see her and you know, just to see who she was. Then that Friday night she was at youth and I was like 'Oh, she's here!' She's a youth leader? And then yea that Saturday we went out for dinner then Sunday for the movies. I was actually pretty strategic with the movies. This is a tip for the kids..
B: Oh gosh, here we go..
C: So one of my big things is humour. And if they laugh at the same thing I laugh at, that's important. So we just went to Grilled for dinner, very chilled it was just the 2 of us, but there were people around talking so ... no pressure. And then we went to a movie which I'd seen like 3 times already. Every time there was a funny bit and I'd laugh, I'd look over and see if she would laugh. And at the exact same bits every time we both laughed, and I was like 'Yep!'
Were there any first kisses over this weekend?
C: Na.
B: Nope. We didn't kiss for how long? I don't even remember it, how terrible is that!
C: Oh I dunno it was a while wasn't it?
B: Na I reckon it would have been that week at some stage we would have kissed.
C: Yea probably, I move fast... hahhaa I'm a fast mover!
What do you love most about each other?
B: Clive's sense of humour. That's how he got me, with his sense of humour.
C: It's probably Bec's loving nature, and just how much she loves her family , loves her friends. She will go out of her way just to help them.
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What's a pet hate or bad habit your partner has?
C: Moving houses.
B: *Shocked*
C: It's because she's moved into like a million houses growing up, so now she's bringing it along to our marriage, and I'm sick of it haha.
B: I came from a divorced family so I've moved from dads to mums to mums to dads just constantly backwards and forwards since I was 5. And we've moved locations a million times and they'd have relationships that would fall apart so then we'd move again.  So I've always done it. I'm a gypsey!
C: So yeah, but nothing else.
B: Moving house is your pet hate with me?
C: Yea...I'm over it (lots of laughter).
B: What the heck? (more laughter).
C: You've got no idea! I'm dreading it! Haha...we actually spoke about this the other night. If there is something that annoys me I don't say anything. I just love Bec for the way she is. And I don't think I have ever, not once said to her 'Oh this is annoying me, that's annoying me' I just ..I love her for her.
B: Yep. It's true. Even though I'm not the best to live with at times. Especially at the moment with all my hormones.
C: *No comment*
B: My biggest pet hate is his snoring!
C: *Laughing* (once again).
B: That has to be, I'm sorry. That has to be. Because we can't sleep in the same room and haven't since we've been married.
C: We start off in the same room if you know what I mean.
B: Oh my gosh..well babies have to happen somehow hahaha but I told him that's his new project for the new year to get it sorted.
C: Well we've bought a $5,000 bed and I haven't slept in it.
B: It's my King Bed, I get the whoooole thing!
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What is one of your happiest memories together?
C: One of my happiest memories is probably Evie. But before that would have been when we would go away water skiing. We were just out on the water having fun.
B: Well I was going to say apart from our wedding day, that was quite a happy moment..
C: Oh yea of course.
B: But yea when we have our outlets together like when we get to go and play netball together or go skiing together. Even if there's other people around as long as we have an outlet we can enjoy together, it makes us connect more because we are actually spending time together. And then obviously having Evie connected us even more. Because you know, it's seeing half of each of you in one person - it's amazing.
C: Yea definitely. And both of our love languages is quality time. So when we do it together and have fun, it's great.
B: But we also really feel it when we don't get to do those things.
C: Yea life get's so busy.
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What's one of the hardest things about being married?
B: Looks at Clive and laughs.
C: Where do we start?
B: Haha I was going to say the same thing.
C: Look marriage is a beautiful thing. You're married to your best friend and life partner and you get to enjoy them every day, it's the growth. Because marriage is not just getting together and then that's it, you've got to grow with it. You've got to get to know each other intimately, and it's getting use to one another.
B: It's adjusting to different upbringings, different cultures, different beliefs and how to do things, your values. I think at the start it's definitely a big change in learning who each other are, especially when you haven't lived together before marriage. Once you do it's like OK, well he was raised one way, I was raised the total opposite to that, now where's the happy medium.
C: And dealing with issues.
B: Yea, to sum it up the hardest thing would be learning how to deal with each other from different backgrounds, which also leads into how you resolve conflicts and then obviously just the every day struggles that come up - you've got jobs to do, bills to pay and then you've got kids to raise on top of that. Trying to find time for each other can be really hard.
C: Yea that is a struggle.
B: Finding time for ourselves as well as each other is definitely a struggle.
What is something you are looking forward to in the future?
B: The next baby.
C: Yea, I can't wait until...our baby... hahaha I was about to say the name again hahaha (Clive accidentally let slip the babies name a few weeks ago).
B: Yes they already know the name hahaha but we are looking forward to finalising our family, this is it.
C: To be honest with you, I'm looking forward to when our kids are old enough to go to crèche and Bec gets to focus on her career. I'm excited to see where that is going to go because she is so driven and she's so passionate about what she does that I think she's going to really go places.
B: He just wants me to work.
C: Well you know, if I can be a stay at home dad, play Playstation all day, I'll be happy with that.
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What's a perfect night out for you guys from when you were dating compared to what it would be now?
B: When we were dating we lived so far apart, it would take Clive a good hour to get to my place. So our hang outs were after Youth. We would go to Chapellis on Chapel St because it was open 24hrs.
C: Worst place.
B: Worst food in the world.
C: Worst coffee.. I don't know why we went there.
B: It was the only thing open, and it was so late so we would always go there for a late dinner or desert and hang out for an hour or 2 before we went home. Then apart from that it was just going to the movies. We would also go on road trips - we loved our road trips when we were dating, which carried into when we first got married but then once kids start it changes again. Now it's exciting just to go to the movies haha.
C: Yea, oh yeah!
B: Someone please babysit haha. It's definitely changed a lot not going on as many adventures.
C: But I think it will change again when the kids get older. Then we can go for our road trips again.
B: Yea definitely once they're old enough we will get travelling again, that will be nice.
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What's one piece of advice you would give a couple starting out in a relationship:
B: My biggest piece of advice I always give at hens parties is to have a mentor. It's so important to have another couple that have been married a lot longer than you, that have been through similar situations or at least know how to deal with the situations you're going through. Just to be able to speak into your life, pray with you, hang out with you.
C: That's marriage and dating as well. I would recommend for a guy especially, because guys don't open up as much as girls do, to have someone that you look up to and trust. Someone that can give you honest feedback that's not going to ... I wana say piss in your pocket but what's another way to say that...
B: People that aren't just going to give you fairy tale advice
C: Yea, that's it!
B: They're actually going to tell you how it is, because we like to be told how it is.
Question from David & Sally: Have you decided what legacy you want to leave? Have you decided what you want people to think about you when you're not there? Not necessarily when you're dead but when you're not in the room what are people going to say about you?
C: That's a good one, it's also a good question to think about for your kids. The perfect example for that was when Solomon took over from David in the bible, there was this scripture where Solomon spoke to God and said God  - give me the wisdom of my father. And I thought that that was so perfect that he didn't say to God  'give me more wealth' but he asked for the wisdom of his father. I thought that really caputered it and that's what I want Evie to go 'I want to worship God like dad worships God' or 'I want to love God like dad loves God'. Like if I wasn't in the room I would want people to say 'Cllive's a good leader' Yea stuff like that I don't know, just make something up for me...
B: I think at the moment most people just think you're the class clown.
C: Yea but that's ok I like that too because I like making people laugh.
B: Well in respect to leaving a legacy I pretty much just pray that the kids will love God, be kind, loving, always open their hearts and their homes and just be brave and courageous.
C: Well yeah we named our kids for a reason. Like Evie means 'give life' and Jae means 'respect'.
B: And you can't reveal our other babies name.
C: That's right we can't reveal that yet!
What question would you like to ask the next couple?
B: Do they have a million dollars? Does that work? Actually can you give us a million dollars? - sorry I didn't specify.
C: Ummm, Oh actually how about...
B: No wait tell me first in case it's no good we won't put it in.
C: How have you learnt to deal with conflict in a relationship?
B: Yeah that's good.
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