I will be the first to admit - Ezra and I are very different (and I'm not just talking about the way we look). If you read my last post, Ezra doesn't mind a bit of confrontation and saying things how they are. I am naturally quite shy, never want to offend, and probably care a little too much what people think. Ezra is a go getter, I am a procrastinator. Ezra could eat chilli for days, I'm more of a meat and 3 veg kind of girl. Ezra’s down time is shooting hoops, mine is vegging out on Instagram. I could lie on the beach all day, whereas Ezra is bored and restless within 10 minutes. The list literally goes on and on, and though we are so different in so many ways, we also have quite a few things in common which really make our relationship work.
We recently went to Tasmania for a week and had the best time hiking, road tripping and just exploring. All this time together led us to have some of the best conversations, and made me think how lucky we are that we both love travelling the way we do. We are pretty laid back travellers - we didn't book hotels in advance, we took days as they came, and we had a vague plan of places we wanted to go, but we were never tied town to a strict schedule, which we love. Even the fact we both love getting out and about, and doing 4 hour hikes together is something we have in common that not a lot of other couples would enjoy.
On one of our hikes at Wineglass Bay, we saw some amazing wildlife, and it made me think of my grandparents and how much they both loved nature and both had a real passion for bird watching. I'm sure they both had so many differences as a couple, but something that really brought them together was their love of birds. They could both sit for hours in their camp chairs, binoculars in hand, not necessarily having to say anything at all, but just enjoying each others company and enjoying their passion together. I love that!
Now I'm not disagreeing with the fact that opposites attract, and you need differences in a relationship, I 100% agree. If I was involved in every single area of Ezra’s life, and loved everything he did, it would probably drive him crazy. We both need our own down time, and things we can pursue separately. You don’t want to be dating yourself after all - hopefully your partner has traits and differences that inspire you to be better, and you can compliment each others weaknesses.
I would say its equally important to have differences, as it is to have things in common with your partner. Probably the most important thing would be to make sure you have the same values and beliefs as your partner. I think if your core values are not the same, it has the potential to be a life time friction point where you will always be butting heads. For us personally, Ezra and I are both Christians. We have both grown up in a church, loving God and loving being part of an amazing community and family. Having this core value and belief in Christ, just makes life so much easier for us as a couple. We are able to support each other, stretch and grow together, and pray with each other through the good times and the bad.
Whatever your differences may be, try and find the things you do have in common to enjoy some time together as a couple. If you are single or dating, I would encourage you to look for someone you share common ground with in terms of core values and beliefs. It may not seem like a big deal to start with, but in the long run it’s definitely worth it.