InterviewsJo Boots

Stan & Bec

InterviewsJo Boots
Stan & Bec

How long have you been together for? 

S:

 That’s a good question actually - great start! haha

B:

 July 2012 we officially started dating.

S:

 But we've known each other since 2010.

Where did you meet?

S:

 We met at an end of year boat cruise, although we didn’t actually meet until the end of the night when we were getting off the boat.

B: 

Yes the boat had docked, we were about to leave, and a mutual friend introduced us to each other.

S:

 I gave her a handshake and then left.

B:

 I went home so excited…not.

How did you end up together? 

(Get ready for the longest get together story there is)

B:

 We went to dinner with mutual friends a little while later, and discovered we worked 4 doors down from each other in the city. We swapped numbers and started having lunch which is where our friendship started. The next few months we hung out quite a bit and Stan eventually let me know he liked me.

S:

 But she denied me!

B:

 Yea but only because I wanted to date someone who had God as number one in their life, and I knew that wasn't the case.

S:

 It’s true, I was in the phase of partying and going out a lot, but still going to church at the same time. I knew when I asked her I wasn't where I wanted to be for myself or for her, but I just figured I would sort it all out while we were together - her saying no was a big kick up the bum for me to get my life sorted.

So did you stay friends after that? 

B:

 Yea we did, I was fine for it, obviously it was harder for Stan but he was pretty ok with it.

S:

 It helped she didn’t say a flat out no, it was more like ‘I don’t think you’re quite ready’, so I wasn't completely shut down. I definitely started getting my life more on track, prioritising God in my life, and getting more involved in church. We still stayed friends but I shut out the idea of Bec and I getting together.

B:

 Stan totally got amongst it, and over that time (about 6 months) I saw huge changes and definitely liked what I saw! So I did something I've never done with anyone ever in my life, and told Stan I liked him. But Stan pretty much told me that his feelings had gone for me, which then turned into the biggest kick in the bum for me - especially considering I had to drop him home after that conversation! So awkward.

S:

 It was definitely one of the hardest things I've had to say and definitely an awkward drive home.

You guys are so Ross and Rachel from Friends! So how did you finally end up together? 

S:

 Because we have so many mutual friends we were kind of forced to keep seeing each other as much as we tried to avoid it. Super awkward a lot of the time but we had the same group of friends so had to deal with it.

B:

 Slowly we actually started to become friends again.

S

: Around the 6 months of being friends again, we got into a massive argument - but from that we were able to clean up a lot of our issues, put it all on the table and just decided to wipe the slate clean. It felt very natural and not forced any more, it literally was a fresh start.

B:

 From there everything just seemed different in a weird but good way. I definitely knew I liked him, but I wasn't going to say anything because of the past - I didn’t want to ruin things again. Then Stan sent flowers to my work a few months later.

S:

 It was an amazing few months of hanging out and I just knew. I was very nervous sending the flowers but I was pretty certain she was keen.

B:

 And the rest is history, sorry that was the longest get together story ever!

What do you love most about each other?

B:

 His sense of humour, I love to laugh, a lot.

S:

 She definitely makes me feel good about myself.

B:

 He mucks around with me a lot, lots of silly stuff. This man is actually ridiculous! He makes up the funniest songs and lines and gets them stuck in my head. He’s got these things called ‘his hits’ ...

S:

 Let’s not go into detail.

B:

 Ok we will leave it there, but they’re hilarious and he just cracks me up.

S:

 I love so many things, but I think one of the things that stands out is her convictions.

B:

 Oh man you went all deep.

S:

 She’s not scared to question the decisions she makes as well as my own, and she pulls me up on them in a good way. It's usually things I wouldn't even realise but it’s a great thing and it challenges me especially with my relaxed nature.

Pet hates/bad habits: 

B: 

It’s a back handed compliment really - he’s just always doing stuff. He’s a real doer which is awesome because it means he ticks things off the list all the time. My personality is I really like to chill out sometimes and not have to worry about the flipping to do list, but because he’s running around doing everything on the list I feel bad and I can’t just chill.

S:

 That’s so funny because I was going to say getting her to do things sometimes can be quite challenging to say the least.

What is one of your happiest memories together? 

B:

 I don’t want to say our wedding day because that’s too cliché, it probably is one of them though. But I really loved the day of our proposal. Afterwards we were walking along the beach, and started planning how we were going to get married and where..it went from theoretical to ‘this is actually happening, we are going to get married’.

S:

 For me it would be our Sydney trip we had recently. It was a complete surprise for Bec and it was after she had finished her exams. She had been working her butt of for the past few years and to be able to surprise her and take her away with nothing hanging over our heads, it was just the best time.

What is one of the hardest things about being married?

B:

 Alone time. I’m someone who definitely needs my alone time especially after a big day at work. Having said that though Stan is literally the only person in the world I could spend 24/7 with and it’s like an extension of myself.…Actually I just thought of a better one - the hardest thing about being married is keeping God number one. You’re so in love with your husband, but God you can’t see, and you have to make a real effort to spend time with him, read your bible, pray - I've found that most challenging about being married - keeping that a priority.

S: 

I would actually say the same, as well as trying to navigate different personalities. We are quite different and obviously were raised very differently as well. It's a challenge trying to find the best way to mash that together without getting annoyed or frustrating with each other.

What are you looking forward to in the future? 

B:

 Obviously babies and all that, but Stan has had a lot of words spoken over him ever since he was a little boy. As his wife I would love to be able support him in getting there and making sure we are in line with God so those things can happen - I look forward to our marriage being something that will allow and empower him to do that.

S:

 And mine would be an extension of that but knowing it will be 

us

 doing those things together, and not just her supporting me, but coming on the journey with me and 

together

 making those things happen.

Kids? 

B:

 Definitely want them, I come from a big family, but ask me after I've had one. At this point my answer would be four though because I love big, loud Christmas holidays and family time.

S:

 Three. I grew up in a smaller family so three sounds good to me, but we will just see how we go.

What’s one piece of advice you would give someone starting a relationship?

B:

 For us personally we started our relationship being really good friends and that became a great foundation for us. I know that’s not for everyone but I would recommend really getting to know someone before jumping into a relationship with them.

S:

 I would say surround yourself with other amazing couples to relate to and who can support and encourage you. Especially people with more experience and you can see how they treat each other, what are good foundations etc. Seeing everyone goes through the good an the bad times forces you to see how you could apply those things to your relationship. Being planted in an amazing church definitely helps.

Question from Ezra & Jo: 

With life being so busy, what's a life hack you have to be able to spend quality time together?

B:

 We love serving together in our church, and being married you naturally just spend a lot of time together, but a big thing for us is making sure after work we can have a great time in the moment, no matter what kind of a day we have had.

S:

 Most days after work we will ask each other ‘hows your day been?', my usual answer is quite brief..

B:

 Stan’s usual answer ‘Oh it was a standard kind of a day’

S: 

But with Bec she has a lot of details and stories she needs to get out. Once she has it out of her system it almost frees our brain up for the rest of the night to be able to enjoy the night and focus on each other. DEBRIEFING at the end of each day to put it simply.

What questions would you like to ask the next couple? 

B:

 Well we have said the biggest struggle in our marriage is keeping God in the centre, how do you prioritise God on a practical level in your relationship?

 jolovesboots xx